There are times where I get to forget what existed outside my own bubble. Times that my brain just stops working and I didn't have to (over)think things which I can't help doing most of the time. Times when I don't feel anything at all. It's like sleeping with my eyes open but seeing nothing and without having to dream about anything at all.
How I wish those times become hours, days, months; not just for a few minutes every now and then. Everything in my life right now is just a conflicting mess that my feelings are slowly turning into emptiness.
Maybe, just maybe, to feel nothing, not anything, is all that I both need and want. Maybe staying within that bubble of nothingness is what will keep me safe, both from the eyes of society and my own scary oftenly-thinking-of-sleeping-forever-aka-kinda-but-not-that-suicidal self.
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